The marks of who we are

The other night my wife said to me "don't take this the wrong way but if you were to take your ring off no one would know you are married or a father.  Me I have this scar proving I am forever a mother. " she may have said something else but this is what I remember. That and saying at least she's a milf.... To a point she is right, and I understand.  She is so engrossed in being a mom she can't separate herself from it even if she wanted to sometimes.

To her it is as simple as removing my ring and I am "free" from all stereotypes. This made me consider if she was right or not.    I concluded she was missing things that most people would but I do not so yes, she was right, but no she was wrong. (Married life in a nutshell)

Let's start with the husband.  

If I take off my ring there is a noticeable indention in my skin and during the summer a noticeable tan line.  I am better off wearing gloves when trying to appear single.  Also if I were to take off my shirt my three tattooes would gain some attention to most people.  1 of which is the final sentence of our vows.  Her section, her last sentence, her words. I couldn't just pretend that was a line from a song and move on.  No mater what or where I am or who I am with if "what does that mean" comes up I am holding my Morgans hands on a perfect day in Georgia surrounded by our best friends.  Why would I cover that up with a lie?

What other characteristics identify a man as a husband?  Less hair gel than his single friends, he is the designated driver, he is the one that has to be home early?  This is a tough one but I think it is a personality change rather than physical change.  If it is easy for a man to appear single(which I say it is not), so to can a woman.  

Next being a father. 

No I do not hve a scar from my daughters birth, or huge boobs full of milk with the potential to leak out my shirt, but I do have some sneakily identifiable features.  

Dads often times fail to zip their pants up.  Why?  Because dads wear dress pants!  Why? To support their families duh, but here is my logic. Before being a dad I peed zipped buttoned and buckled.  As a dad I pee, button, clip, zip buckle.  That second clip/button step in dress pants takes the step that use to be zipping.  Dads do not have time for new steps so something must suffer (my additional weight forces me to use the inside button now)

Which leads me to weight/ physical issues.  Well even with Morgan taking the night shift like a boss, sleep is never useful leading to dark circles under my eyes, a modest weight gain, way too much caffeine intake.  I wear my wrinkles around my eyes with pride from all the smiles I share with my family, and the big ass wrinkle in my forehead is there because of work and worrying that my family is always happy as can be. Where do I find time to exercise when I get up early to work and go home to help Morgan with the nights chores?  Yes I would love to work out, but I love sleep, and being home with my family and need the occasional stress relief beer with my guy friends.  

I sway.... All the time.  Other parents get this.  When you hold a child all you do is sway or bounce to keep that thin entertained.  

Baby talk, now some people do this without babies and that to me is worrisome, but I do it now because yes, I have one.

My computer, phone, Instagram, you name it (except here) is covered with my daughters beautiful face.

What I am getting at is a ring or a scar does not sum up your life, or define your role in it.  It is merely a reminder that you have something special that some people search for their whole lives.  Love and a family.